- Christian Wives Show Respect to Husbands - Photo by Benjamin Earwicker
Respect is critical for a successful marriage and wives can be respectful of their husbands in several different ways, according to Sharon Jaynes, author of Becoming the Woman of His Dreams [Harvest House, 2005]. The three parts of showing love and respect for a husband include giving him the gift of leadership, the gift of a contented wife and the gift of an attractive wife.
Love and Respect in Marriage
Respect is perhaps the most critical element for a successful Christian marriage. In Ephesians 5:33 Paul says a husband must love his wife as himself and wives must be respectful of their husbands. Jaynes does not deny that women want respect or men want love but says Paul is focusing on the primary need of men and women. “We want to be loved and cherished just as our husbands want to be honored and respected,” Jaynes says.
Respect does not necessarily come easily but prayer can help wives to overcome obstacles such as “years of mistakes, poor choices, wrong decisions, and smelly socks.” Jaynes believes showing respect to a husband is the first step in having a husband who acts respectable.
Man’s Leadership and Marriage Problems
“The woman of his dreams is one who submits to his leadership and authority in the home and in the marriage relationship,” Jaynes says. She compares this submission to a chain of command where the wife submits to the husband. He, in turn, submits to God’s will for himself and his family. Both partners are then following God’s will for their household and their marriage.
Although Christian wives are commanded in the Bible to submit to their husbands, this is a common area for marriage problems to arise, Jaynes says. She admits to having problems with submission herself and notes that this has always been a difficult task for women. But it is also difficult for husbands to lead a household where the wife does not submit to his authority. “They know God has called them to the leader of the home, and yet the struggle to fulfill that call isn’t worth the effort and hassle,” Jaynes says. After marriage men may spend years struggling to fulfill their role. Without being given the gift of leadership from their wives, however, many men simply give up and develop a “‘whatever’ attitude” toward their wives. The good news is that women can resolve marriage problems by choosing to change the tone of their marriage and put on a respectful attitude at any time.
Express Words of Appreciation, Not Criticism
A Christian wife can show respect for her husband by being content with her financial situation and being thankful for his work. Wives who are never satisfied with what they have or complain about the things they want are not being respectful of his work to provide for the family.
“He longs to be a good provider for his family,” Jaynes says. “He wants to be the hero for his bride.” A wife who is content and thankful fulfills the need of her husband to be a good provider and gives him the gift of a contented wife. A wife who never has enough and expresses this to her husband is telling him he has failed in his role, Jaynes says.
The Gift of an Attactive Wife
Part of Jaynes’ research into Becoming the Woman of His Dreams, included surveys of thousands of men to get their honest answers about the qualities they long for in the woman of their dreams. It can’t be denied that a man wants a wife who takes care of her appearance, Jaynes says. The most important part of this element of respect is that the wife should do her best to maintain the appearance she has and not try to be something that she is not, Jaynes says. Wives took the effort to win their husbands when they were dating and should take the same effort to care for themselves after marriage.
When a wife dresses nicely and cares for her appearance she is showing respect for her husband’s desire to feel pride in the woman he has chosen for his partner. “When we decide that we don’t care how we look, we are in essence telling our husbands that we don’t care about them,” Jaynes says. “We are disrespecting their needs and desires.”
All Christian Wives Called to Love & Respect
Respect in marriage is just as important for Christian wives who are married to men who are not Christians. Submitting to the will of a non-Christian husband should still be the focus of wives, “As long as he is not telling you to the do something immoral or illegal,” Jaynes says. Many husbands have been brought to Christ through the respectful and loving submission of their wives. Although husbands of Christian wives may not join them in faith, there are still benefits and blessings from behaving as God commands, Jaynes says.
Christian wives who want to improve their marriages should focus on showing love and respect for their husbands. Giving a man the gift the leadership can help stop marriage problems before they start. Expressing words of appreciation and being contented with what a husband provides give a man the gift of a contented wife. Caring for her appearance is the third way a wife can show love and respect for her husband.
Genna Cockerham - Genna Cockerham has been writing online since November 2008. She served as Marriage Feature Writer from December 2008 to February ...
